Does one sided feeling happen at this age, somehow it seems so childish yet it is an integral part of an adult life more than in any phase. I was so sure of my choices, I know things take time, esp human relationship because its two different people coming together and trying to set a common ground. I have met some amazing guys, I mean such amazing souls that I just cant bring myself to terms, they could walk all over you.These men are the ones, if you meet them on a rainy day, they'll be the first people who will offer you an umbrella and safeguard you.
Strangely when it comes to emotional (romantic) bonding they can be as cold as a ice.I wonder do they realize? Or their fantasy overpowers their practical side. Or is it me that I establish myself as someone too self-content or gullible. Well, I am self- content yes, because I don't want to be in anyone's life as a liability. I want to love someone, dedicate my time because they mean so much. Is it so wrong to not portray yourself as vulnerable, I am genuinely confused.
Why do we have to compromise love, why unwarranted factors are so important, why cant feeling be about feelings, why it has become business like transaction. And it is even more strange that people justify it, people justify all the manipulations over unconditional love. All great stories and life experiences teach us to love unconditionally, respect even if you are not receiving it, yet when it comes to realization we tend to adapt to rules which has nothing to do with true feelings but rules framed to fit. A baby is not thought to love its birth giver, it is the most unrefined and form, no one is thought to love or being kind. It is the most innate human characteristics. But we are all busy proving a point which is otherwise.
I am a child trapped in a grown-up body, which is why I can immediately recognize whom I want in my life and am the most comfortable with. Well when we talk about relationships, love, feelings, how can we ignore responsibility, the most important to bind everything together. Responsibility again has some grotesque definitions, more often or so people envelop command and order in the form of responsibility. So if you oblige with what people say and follow the order you are the most responsible. However, there's hardly any person who will notice your involuntary contribution. How elusive! We have such strong definition affiliated with responsibility, if at home your idea of unwinding is just being in your space not talking, you are termed as irresponsible or detached, cant someone rather notice this as an aspects of ones characteristics, as they are so relaxed in the comfort and warmth of their home, the only place in the world where they want to feel freedom even in the four walls of the house.
I mostly follow my heart and yes I have faced pitfalls but at the end of all the heartaches and troubles, I pat myself that I tried sincerely and survived all. I have hurt people in the past and I really am sorry of being such a ludicrous of a person. Despite, I don't want to turn back time. I don't want to be here either, I do want to see the next phase of my life. The feeling of nurturing a family, loving someone is not an age old adage, its is as prudent as breathing. I think the kitty-party is over.
Strangely when it comes to emotional (romantic) bonding they can be as cold as a ice.I wonder do they realize? Or their fantasy overpowers their practical side. Or is it me that I establish myself as someone too self-content or gullible. Well, I am self- content yes, because I don't want to be in anyone's life as a liability. I want to love someone, dedicate my time because they mean so much. Is it so wrong to not portray yourself as vulnerable, I am genuinely confused.
Why do we have to compromise love, why unwarranted factors are so important, why cant feeling be about feelings, why it has become business like transaction. And it is even more strange that people justify it, people justify all the manipulations over unconditional love. All great stories and life experiences teach us to love unconditionally, respect even if you are not receiving it, yet when it comes to realization we tend to adapt to rules which has nothing to do with true feelings but rules framed to fit. A baby is not thought to love its birth giver, it is the most unrefined and form, no one is thought to love or being kind. It is the most innate human characteristics. But we are all busy proving a point which is otherwise.
I am a child trapped in a grown-up body, which is why I can immediately recognize whom I want in my life and am the most comfortable with. Well when we talk about relationships, love, feelings, how can we ignore responsibility, the most important to bind everything together. Responsibility again has some grotesque definitions, more often or so people envelop command and order in the form of responsibility. So if you oblige with what people say and follow the order you are the most responsible. However, there's hardly any person who will notice your involuntary contribution. How elusive! We have such strong definition affiliated with responsibility, if at home your idea of unwinding is just being in your space not talking, you are termed as irresponsible or detached, cant someone rather notice this as an aspects of ones characteristics, as they are so relaxed in the comfort and warmth of their home, the only place in the world where they want to feel freedom even in the four walls of the house.
I mostly follow my heart and yes I have faced pitfalls but at the end of all the heartaches and troubles, I pat myself that I tried sincerely and survived all. I have hurt people in the past and I really am sorry of being such a ludicrous of a person. Despite, I don't want to turn back time. I don't want to be here either, I do want to see the next phase of my life. The feeling of nurturing a family, loving someone is not an age old adage, its is as prudent as breathing. I think the kitty-party is over.
No comments:
Post a Comment